Do You Both Go To Parent / Teacher Meetings?

Do You Both Go To Parent / Teacher Meetings?
18 October 2017

How do you feel about parents' evening?

Me, I love everything about parent / teacher meetings – from squeezing into the little chairs whilst fighting the feeling that you're in for a telling-off, and the old familiar smell of a school building, to finding out what my kids are *really* like at school and hearing about all the ways they're excelling. I love it all.

But I'd be a bit miffed if my child's school only bothered inviting me to parent / teacher meetings, and deliberately left my husband out of the loop.

That's exactly what happened to one mum, though.

Good to Know reports:

A mum has sparked debate after revealing that her son's headmistress told children to only invite mums to parents evening. The mum explained her ordeal on a parenting forum, writing that her son asked her to attend a 'parents evening', which was going to take place at the middle of the day.

The woman then goes on to explain that she wouldn't be able to attend because she would be at work at that time, but told her son to ask his dad as he has flexible working hours.

But then her son replied saying that he had to ask her, and not his father, because the headmistress told the children to ask their mums as the 'dads won't be able to go as they'll be at work'.

'DS says 'headmistress says I had to ask you (mum) because she says all the dads won't be able to go as they'll be at work,' she continued.

Imagine only asking the mums to parents' evening! I reckon there'd be uproar if this happened in my children's schools.

But what's your view on this story? Do you and your child's other parent both attend parent/teacher meetings or do you think it's perfectly reasonable to assume that only mums are likely to attend?

Leave us a comment here or come and join the conversation over on our Facebook page.

36 comments

  • Betty S.

    Tell them that in my house we beleive in and promote equality

  • Karen B.

    Both of us attend school parents evening.

  • Kathryn M.

    Wow didnt know it was the 1930s

  • Kimberley P.

    Both of us attend husband will arrange time off it's important to us both how he's doing. And the hubby takes in things I might miss while thinking my baby is growing up lol x

  • Anna M.

    Well that’s a bit off isn’t it? I mean myself and my husband will make it to my son’s parents evening on Thursday but up until Monday that was debatable as I was in hospital due to being pregnant with number 2. As of last week, my sons grandparents were going so to be told that he had to ask me (sick, in hospital, with a cannula and not well at all) and not his dad/alternative carers is just wrong.

  • Gail S.

    What about families without mums ?

  • Kailee G.

    My husband is always busy with work so I attend parents evenings by myself and don’t see a problem with it aslong as one parent attends isn’t that better than both parents not bothering atall

  • Heather M.

    My husband& i can never go together as one of us is always at home with the kids& the other one is working.My mum lives in a different country.I don't feel bad that we both can't go.It's a working world.Each to their own xxx

  • Amanda C.

    My other half has been to school twice (to pick the children up when I was away) my eldest is year 4. It's always me that does anything school. However, as previously said it's not the 1930s and plenty of dads get involved now! Its as dated as me always receiving letters and calls for Mrs Thomas (my kids surname/not mine) lol! It's 2017! :joy:

    • Katie M.

      I get the mrs wilkins, I’m just like not yet I’m not but okay. They now ask for ....’s mum. It’s much better.

  • Beth F.

    Plenty of working mums out there?! what a very odd assumption. We are a “traditional” Mum at home Dad at work family but that’s actually a luxury these days and most of the mums at my daughters school work! And despite often working 72 hour weeks my husbands managed to make everyone one of my daughters parents evenings!

    • Sandra A.

      Lucky you. I only had my husband there to look after the little one in the playground while I had a proper talk with the teachers, as we don't have the luxury of family looking after the kids.

    • Beth F.

      we had to take both kids with us :wink:

    • Sandra A.

      Oh... I would not be able to concentrate on the teacher if I had to watch that the little one doesn't destroy someone's art work or make a huge mess :grimacing:

    • Beth F.

      I had to strap J in the pushchair and bribe his silence with chocolate buttons :joy:

  • Kate P.

    I can't help thinking that this didn't really happen. It seems unlikely that an invitation to a parents meeting would be given verbally via the children. Even newsletters have been replaced by text or email alerts in a lot of schools. I can't get outraged at this because I just don't believe it.

    • Amie F.

      You're right everything is done in military precision! We 'both' went to ours tonight.

    • Vicky C.

      I can't see it either. And kids are notorious for only listening to half the instructions!! She probably said 'if your dad works, then mum can come or vice versa!' Or something similar!

    • Gemma G.

      I agree - we get school letters, then the same by email. They cant expect messages to be relayed correctly/at all via the kids! Sounds more like something a younger child said to their parents, having misunderstood said to them/overheard at school.

  • Chris G.

    As a stay at home dad due to heart conditions I find this wrong, we both attend everything if my wife isn't at work but if she is I go by myself, it's disgusting in this day and age to presume which parent works and which doesn't, do they not know about equality

  • Clare W.

    Well as both my husband and I work full time we would find it equally difficult to go to a mid day parents evening. Both my Mum and Dad used to attend mine when I was little. My Mum used to tell me to try and get the latest appointment so he could come

  • Stacy J.

    Pretty sure this is rubbish.

  • Tamara P.

    Both me and my husband always attended parents evening together while grandparents stay at home and watch our children as we both hand an interest in their education x

  • Vikki T.

    What's my view on the story?? That its a load of shit and people will believe anything if its written on the internet. Since when do teachers give important messages verbally to the pupils. Kids cant remember what they did in a lesson nevermind verbally communicate a message clesrly and without a bit of chinese whispers. Its clearly been misinterpreted but perfect Peter's mum wanted a whinge on the internet for a bit of attention

    • Vicki P.

      I don't think everyone believes what they read online, scroll the comments. Most think it's dog shit too. Give credit to your fellow humans :thumbsup:

    • Vikki T.

      There were loads saying that it wasnt the 1930s and there should be equality. Nice to see not everyone is gullible!

    • Becky H.

      My daughter told me she had a practice drill for terrorist attacks at her school I didn't hear about it from her teacher so yes I can believe they pass verbal messages through children

    • Libby A.

      A practice drill is different though, parents aren't involved in it so they do really need to know about it. Parents evenings obviously are a formal event so therefore a formal invite would be sent out by the school.

  • Megan D.

    that'd be us screwed :joy::joy:

  • Paul D.

    Can they do this for kids parties too?

  • Laura D.

    As above this story seems unlikely. All important letters are on the school website. Both me and my partner attend parents evening. My dad used to attend my parents evening on his own, my mum hates schools so she avoided school events, both worked, mum usually evenings/nights.

  • Lisa S.

    As a working parents and I dont finish until 6 and I got the last appointment, and my other half will be at home with our child while one of us attends

  • Cecilia F.

    This is always true of my husband, does nothing but work all the time

  • Alyson H.

    I have three kids and I think my husband was only able to go to a handful due to his job I think as long as one of the parents go doesn't really matter IMO

  • Emma G.

    I've never been to parents evening it's always my hubby who goes x

  • Emma J.

    If this is true...condescending twats...

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