Do Parents Really Have Favourites?

Do Parents Really Have Favourites?

Which kid is your favourite?

Ridiculous question, I know, but nearly a quarter of parents – and HALF of grandparents – apparently have a favourite child or grandchild according to new research.

iNews reports:

A survey by Mumsnet and Gransnet revealed 23 per cent of parents had a favourite child, while 42 per cent of grandparents had a favourite grandchild. Among parents who admitted it, 56 per cent said they preferred their youngest child. Among grandparents, 39 per cent favoured their eldest grandchild.

Give me strength.

Apparently some of this absurdity is based on one child being less tricky or demanding than their siblings. But we're talking about human beings here – since when did it become acceptable for parents to openly admit to preferring one child over another?

Thankfully, around half Mumsnet and Gransnet users agreed that having a favourite was “awful” with most saying favouritism is damaging for other siblings or for the favoured child.

Worse still, of those parents who admitted to having a favourite child, 13 per cent said they thought that child's siblings knew which one was the favourite kid.

Of course, it's one thing to acknowledge that you have more in common with one child than other – and such things go in cycles depending on the age and stage of development of each child, in my view.

But I strongly feel it's unthinkable to knowingly favour one child over another. Unless you do it like my friend's parents did. Her parents used to tell her she was their favourite on a regular basis and it wasn't until she was in her 20s that she discovered that they did exactly the same with her two younger siblings.

Well played, that mum and dad.

We'd love to hear your views on this story. Do you admit to having a favourite child? Or do you have experience of either being the favourite or knowing you weren't the favourite when you were a child?

Leave us a comment here or come and join the conversation over on our Facebook page. And don't forget to take part in our poll.



Comments

Reply to
  • Kerrie S.

    Which ever one is behaving is my favourite!! :joy:

    Reply
    • Claire B.

      With three kids I say amen to this!

      Reply
      • Kerrie S.

        Claire Boddey 3 here too!

        Reply
        • Samantha A.

          I was gonna say sleeping lol

          Reply
          • Siobhán M.

            My favourite can change from day to day, even hour by hour depends on who is behaving and who isn't

            Reply
            • Sam B.

              I agree.... 6 kids here :joy::see_no_evil:

              Reply
              • Karla C.

                I agree depends which one annoying me the less that day :joy::joy:

                Reply
              • Louise S.

                I always knew it was true !!!!

                Reply
                • Diane S.

                  We know the truth Peter Simpson mum's favourite your dad's favourite and i was an accident :sob:

                  Reply
                  • Louise S.

                    planned accident it now transpires so you must be the lucky one!!!!

                    Reply
                    • Peter S.

                      Think you’ll find Diane is the favourite all the £2 coins prove it !!!!

                      Reply
                    • Christina H.

                      What a horrible thing I have 3 children and would never see one better or have favouritism for one more then another

                      Reply
                      • Becky B.

                        Which ever one is being least annoying :joy:

                        Reply
                        • Carol B.

                          No favourites I love all my kids the same :heart::heart::heart::heart:

                          Reply
                          • Natalie J.

                            Yes i have a favourite but it changes many times a each day. It's which ever one is being good.

                            Reply
                            • Katy M.

                              Yep...but I only have one :grinning:

                              Reply
                              • Darren S.

                                Don't forget Steve! X

                                Reply
                              • Shaza N.

                                This is awful. I could never have a favourite. I love them both the same and always will regardless of how they turn out to be. My love for them is unconditional . :two_hearts:

                                Reply
                                • Stacey S.

                                  obviously im the favourite child ....

                                  Reply
                                  • Lucy S.

                                    My favourite changes hourly :joy::joy:

                                    Reply
                                    • Louise B.

                                      I think its disgusting to have a favourite child, i have 5 soon to be 6 kids and i love all my kids exactly the same, they are all different, all can be naughty, all can be good. But they are all amazing and would never have a favourite, imagine the other kids if they felt like their parent or even grandparent had faves n how they would feel and be thinking wondering why it wasnt them and what they had done wrong and they will realise 1 day just as i did with my grandparent!

                                      Reply
                                      • Michelle F.

                                        Breaks your heart :disappointed:

                                        Reply
                                      • Tessa F.

                                        I definitely have a favourite... but then again, I have only one child, so that's easily done... :joy:

                                        Reply
                                        • Jamie-leigh C.

                                          I do it changed tho ... which ever one is being the least pain in the arse

                                          Reply
                                          • Jill A.

                                            I’m in the three quarters who don’t haha xx

                                            Reply
                                            • Suzanne B.

                                              I think it's horrible to say you have a favourite child, you should love all your children the same

                                              Reply
                                              • Emma C.

                                                When I got pregnant with my second child last year I really worried myself so much because I was scared that I couldn't love him as much as my daughter. But when he was born and I had him and I held him - there was a whole other piece of my heart that was just as full and big on reserve just for him! There is def no difference between my girl and boy.

                                                Reply
                                                • Emily R.

                                                  I felt the same being pregnant with my second. That fear soon went :)

                                                  Reply
                                                  • Caroline M.

                                                    Exactly the same here. Almost like your heart doubles in size x

                                                    Reply
                                                  • Cheryl G.

                                                    I’ve got 4 children and not one is My favourite I love them all with all my heart they are all different in there ways,I’m so very lucky to be there mother I’m so proud of them all and of the different things they do best things that ever happened to me x

                                                    Reply
                                                    • Janine S.

                                                      I’ve got 4 children and not one is My favourite. I love them all with all my heart, they are all different in their own ways. I’m so very lucky to be their mother! I’m so proud of them all and of the different things they do. Best things that ever happened to me x

                                                      Reply
                                                    • Helen P.

                                                      I have 2 adult children and they have both wound me up to distraction in their different ways and have both been amazing in equal measure. But through it all I continue to love them both unconditionally! I have 3 granddaughters whom I love unconditionally and I certainly do not have a favourite. I have witnessed the emotional devastation that a grandparent openly showing favouritism has on a child, and the adverse affects on mental health continue into adulthood.

                                                      Reply
                                                      • Jodie A.

                                                        I have twins. I have so much love for them. Couldn't say either was my favourite.

                                                        Reply
                                                        • Paula C.

                                                          I don't but my brother is my mother's favourite

                                                          Reply