Natasha Hamilton: Don't Call Me 4x4

29 April 2016
Natasha Hamilton: Don't Call Me 4x4

As derogatory terms go, the phrase '4 x 4' to describe a woman who has four children with four different partners is particularly nasty in my view.

So it's little wonder that Natasha Hamilton has spoken out about her experience of being called this nasty nickname - and specifically about the trickle effect it's having on her kids.

The Daily Star reports:

The Atomic Kitten singer recently split up from partner Ritchie Neville, who she had a baby with.

Speaking on This Morning, Natasha says people have been "trolling" her and her children because she has four kids with four different dads.

She said she could deal with the cruel comments but they have now started "trickling down" to her children.

My heart sank when I read this story because it seems unfathomable to me that in this day and age people see fit to have a pop at mothers over the parentage of their children.

And, as This Morning host James Martin pointed out, men who father children with several different partners are rarely - if ever - subjected to the same degree of abuse.

"Hugh Grant had two kids in one year with two different women," Natasha added.

What's worse than the idea of any mum in the public eye having to tolerate and protect her kids from this kind of trolling is the fact that people took to Twitter to berate Hamilton for complaining about her lot.

Will we ever reach the age of live and let live when it comes to parenthood?

What's your view on this story? Do you applaud Natasha Hamilton for speaking up about the issue? Or are you on the side of those who criticise her for her the shape and size of her family? Share your thoughts by leaving us a comment or joining the debate on our Facebook page.

TOPICS:   Parents

67 comments

  • Claire R.

    It's no one else's business other than hers and the fathers to her children.

  • Beverley S.

    Think 4 children by 4 different men will always attract negative publicity.

    • Rach H.

      Is has nothing to do with anyone else though. So it shouldn't really matter for others to comment on.

    • Beverley S.

      Not saying it's right. Personally, the thought of 4 of my children having different fathers would fill me with shame. That's what I judge this on.

    • Samantha H.

      But it would have been your choice to have four children to four different fathers tho wouldn't it? So why do that if you would feel ashamed. In this day and age I still can't believe how judgemental people are

    • Beverley S.

      As above. My personal opinion.

    • Samantha H.

      Does it matter tho as long as the kids are happy loved and healthy?

    • Beverley S.

      Not at all. X

  • Carrie G.

    There's no need for any of this! As long as her children are loved and cared for who cares who their fathers are. People need to concentrate on their own lives (which I doubt are perfect!)

  • Susan H.

    What does it matter? The children are healthy, looked after and well loved, leave her be!

  • Sarah D.

    I'm pretty sure she didn't plan to have 4 kids to 4 fathers, but you know what, life rarely goes the way we plan it. She's a mother of 4 it's as simple as that. So long as she loves and cares for her kids, the fact that they have different dad should never be an issue.

    • Lisa K.

      Thank you, I couldn't have put that better myself.

  • Amy E.

    Stupid , Ive 4kids to 3men i can tell you i didn't friggin want that to happen but that's life ,shit happens . As long as she is a great parent nothing else matters x

    • Kaz C.

      And it works both ways, why do we never focus on the men, always the women. Such a sexist society that always looks to shame women

  • Melanie A.

    What difference does it make as long as her kids are happy, healthy, loved and are raised to be there for each as they grow up and are treated the same then it doesn't matter if she has 10 kids by 10 different fathers X

  • Jenny R.

    Does it matter as long as the kids are happy

  • Lisa L.

    At the end of the day she's a mother and derogatory remarks will harm and hurt her children.....would you really be proud of yourself if you did that?

  • Helen Y.

    I think it's more the fact that she was with some of the fathers for a very short time before having a child with them.

    • Rachael S.

      And what does it matter. I would rather my kids have different fathers and be happy with our life then have 3 kids with the same man and be stuck in a unhappy relationship.

    • Helen Y.

      It matters because children should be brought into a secure stable relationship, not someone you've been with with for 3 months!! That's what happened with the last guy from five. Plus, I never said she should have stayed in an unhappy relationship, just that she probably should have gotten to know them better before bringing children into the equation.

    • Dani M.

      I fell pregnant 3 months into my relationship with my boyfriend. 8 years later we have another 2 children and he is now my husband :grinning:

    • Helen Y.

      I'm not knocking people who have done that Dani, however it's something that she has repeated time and again. I'm well aware that hundreds of people fall pregnant early in a relationship and stay together but that's not what happened here.

    • Dani M.

      Fair point :blush:

    • Rachael S.

      people are bringing children into this world without fathers or mothers anymore through ivf and surrogacy. It doesn't make a child's life unstable because they have different dads or how long you have known the father. The child knows no different.

    • Laura M.

      Who r we to judge. X

    • Laura F.

      my auntie was the same, 20odd years of marriage later they're still together. If they had've split up she could be in a similar situation as when you're with someone you do tend to think it's for keeps at the time but then shit happens haha x

    • Rachel D.

      there is quite a bit of research around that suggests it does make a child's life unstable whether it's all they've known or not.

    • Rachael S.

      I don't believe it's the fact they haven't got a father living with them though I think it's the fact that a lot of the time the parents don't get along which does cause the child stress and anxieties.

    • Rachel D.

      Rachael Spencer Slater very true, yes an abusive relationship is very stressful for children to witness but her children are not witnessing a loving relstionship, they aren't seeing how in a secure, committed relationship disagreements happen but they are resolved in a caring and respectful way-they are seeing that the minute mum and mums new boyfriend don't get along they split up..........that's incredibly damaging, unsettling and anxiety inducing for children.

    • Katie T.

      I've two friends who are '4×4' both of them have happy well adjusted children who are all achieving highly in education (in two of those 8 children thats despite having autism, aspergers and the associated ocd and other fixations) and life in general, father present and envolved or not. By your measure any child who looses a parent to terminal illness is being done badly by their remaining parent. I'm a '3×2' and I promise you, kicking out the eldests alcoholic father was not taken lightly. And what's to say that it is her leaving the father and not the father leaving her? It's not always the woman's doing and if women still are carrying the attitude you have to the family unit it's unsupprising that domestic abuse, rape, and general misogyny is still so prevelent in today's society. Everyone, no matter how independent, self assured and rock'n'roll they are, wants to have that person in their life that is always there, it's just sometimes you think it's that person in front of you and it's not.

    • Emma S.

      Why is the comparison here with abusive relationships not long term, stable, loving relationships? Couldn't care less how many kids she has by how many dads, none.of my business but it's interesting how people swoop on abusive relationships to reason.

    • Rachel D.

      Katie Turnbull I don't think anyone should stay in an abusive relationship, and I have every respect and support for men or women who are raising children on their own. I'm not suggesting that a single parent does a lesser job than two parents. I have friends who are raising children alone and do a much better job than I do! And your comment about loosing a parent isn't part of this debate. I met, dated, lived with then married my husband 8 years before deciding we would bring children into our lives-we knew each other inside out, any problems we encounter we know we can resolve together. I want our children to see that and that be the norm for them-to feel secure and look for that type of relationship when they are older. I'm not saying that marriage is perfect but if we can teach them respect by example I'm hoping if they find themselves in a disrespectful relationship they will recognise it and not decide to bring children into it.

    • Rachael S.

      Not every bodies life works out to plan, my 1st child her dad walked out when I was pregnant, my 2nd child his dad decided to turn to drugs and alcohol and make our lives a living hell, so I had to leave and make a better life for my kids. My 3rd child me and his father are now married and all my children see a very loving relationship every day and he is a great father to my other 2 children also. Obviously you go into a relationship thinking it will last but thankfully not all do else I wouldn't of had my other 2 children.

    • Katie T.

      It's not that it is a reason, it's just that it could be. As I said, the father of my eldest is an alcoholic. I realised the dire situation I was in just before my child was born, it took a couple more months for me to pluck up the courage and get arrangements in place to leave him and several years longer to pay off debts he'd run up in my name. You can't say that he was abusive exactly, but he did punch me in the face, while I was holding a 2 month old child, because he was drunk and I wouldn't give him money to buy more beer. He also in a drunken rage flipped over a sofa I was sitting on at 7 months pregnant. But I didn't view it as abusive at the time. I still don't really now, although it was, 8 years later, but he did emotionally and financially abuse me constantly the whole time I was with him. I don't think it's a comparison to abusive relationships, I think it's a point being made that having one parent in the home is better than a home where a child is subjected to daily arguments between the mother and father/step parent/boyfriend. Personally, I salute Natasha Hamilton for making hard choices that put her kids having a happy home environment over her desire to have a man in her life.

    • Rachel D.

      Rachael Spencer Slater you sound like you have found your happy ever after and are really settled and of course you are going to be thankful for all your children. We have 2 beautiful girls and my main point is I want them to recognise that children are a precious privilege, as parents we make huge decisions on their behalf-we don't always get them right but every decision we make we put their welfare first. I can't imagine what you went through when your first boyfriend left you whilst you were pregnant, I wouldn't ever want that for my girls. It's true that not all relationships work out, people change. I got to know my husband over those 8 years before we had children, I knew his morals, his hopes and fears and I knew he wouldn't leave me whilst pregnant. It takes a long time to get to know someone but if you do put the time in then statistics show that those awful things that happened to you are much much less likely to happen.

    • Michelle S.

      Sorry, but first off, it's no-ones business. Secondly, if you are so set on the welfare of kids being put first then keep your judgements to yourself. No child needs to hear their mother and the personal circumstances surrounding their parentage criticised. Last, but not least, knowing someone for 8 years does not mean you know how they will react to being a parent. I knew the father for my child for 15 odd years and he still ditched his responsibility as a father.

      Live and let live is the example you should set for your kids. Otherwise they will end up judgemental , arrogant and sanctimonious!

    • Heather B.

      Nobody wants their relationship to fail regardless of how long they've been together! I met my partner & fell pregnant straight away...2 kids later we're married!! I find ur comments very judgemental & wrong!!....You can be with someone for yrs & still not know them!!

    • Rachel D.

      Heather Brennan of course you can't but evidence proves you are much more likely to know them after a longer period of time.

    • Linda M.

      I have 6 daughters by 3 diffrent dads... no I didn't plan my life to be like that, but unfortunately that's what happened... so I had a relationship at a young age fell pregnant at 19 then 22... that relationship didn't work because he was cheating ect.. so then I was with the next one for 11years have 3 girls.. then we wasn't happy. & now I have a daughter with a top guy girls couldn't be more happy now then they have ever been... so if u want to judge ppl b for you even know there life stories makes ur life even sad!!! X all that matters is as long as the children are in a happy family home then a sad unhappy one :)

    • Rachel D.

      Love hearing about people's life stories and love even more a happy ending, we are all looking for that however many twists and turns we take on the journey. Natasha hasn't found that though, that's why I feel for her, she's unhappy and has to pick up the pieces with her children being bullied daily now they are older and aware of the situation. I saw her interview and saw her inner lioness come out to protect them. She's been through so much, I hope she finds her happy ever after.

  • Rachael S.

    I have 3 kids to 3 different dads and i couldn't care less what others think. I am proud of every single one of my children. :slight_smile:

  • Joanne R.

    She loves her children end of!! :)

  • Katie T.

    I've 3 kids and two fathers. Life would be easier without the first father as he's currently making sure my eldest knows #2 and #3 aren't 'really' her siblings. Because of my situation I kinda think, once bitten twice shy, but who really cares? She was with someone, got pregnant had a child. She's obviously quite a fertile girl, who is in the lucky position financially to be able to support her kids, bloke in the house or not, and made her choices. And that's exactly what it is. Her choice to have a child, whether single, in a shakey relationship or married it is HER choice. It has no impact on my life or anyone else's, so why the need to pass comment?

    • Cerie A.

      What a nasty man... Same dad or not they are still brothers and sisters....

    • Katie T.

      Yeah. But in his case I know of one definite and three other possible children of his. Non of which he mentions or has anything to do with so it's not exactly unexpected. He ditched one at 6 years old. Apparently it was really boring visiting him in a sealed room wearing gown, gloves and a face mask so he didn't die from secondary infection during leukemia treatment, and I'm pretty sure the 3 possibles know him as 'mum's friend' if they know him at all? Not sure why my child gets special attention? But such is life. If only I'd followed my gut instinct to not tell him I was pregnant. I swear to god, if I had one wish or one opportunity to go back in time, I'd break all the rules of time travel and go have a word with myself around January 2007! But as they say, a life live with no regrets, is a life not lived!

  • Faye P.

    Honestly! There are children in this country that are abused and neglected everyday. Why do people care about this woman who cares and loves her children? Priorities are so screwed up.

  • Nicola C.

    No one elses business but i would love to know how she managed to have time meeting these men coz ive been out once for 3 hrs in two years and thats with my partner?

  • guest

    4x4?! Omg iv not heard that term before :joy: think I would also object to being called a car :joy: kids healthy? Loved? Cared for? Yes? Then who gives a toss if they are full siblings or not. And if you do care...get a grip love!

    • Laura J.

      I have - Ulrika Johnson lol. Cruel though x

    • Penny B.

      :joy: she went down in my estimations when I heard about Sven. I mean honestly love! Urgh! :joy: maybe he had a huge...car?

  • Katie D.

    I'd have thought Atomic Kitten would've been more of an issue lol. Many people end up with children to different dads. Why should it matter? If the children are loved and cared for then nothing else matters!

  • Emma L.

    Who cares and who's business is it anyway! As long as she is a good mam to her kids!

  • Persephone-Rebecca S.

    if you have kids with a guy you've been with for 5 mins instead of planning it and creating a stable home which doesn't mean he has to be present but not one with constant changes, then yes your going to get judged for that behaviour whether it was intentional or not

  • Laura K.

    do these people calling her a 4x4 mother not have anything better to be getting on with. who cares how many kids or how many dads there are. if they are cared for loved and she is paying for them let her live her life how she sees fit. X

  • Michelle K.

    Who cares how many kids she's got to different men. It doesn't affect your life so why are people so bothered. People should concentrate on their own lives rather than be so quick to judge other people's!!

  • Laura K.

    For all we know she set out to have four children in her life and wasn't fussed about staying in a relationship. It's none of our business but if asked, as long as she can financially and emotionally support her children why judge? Surely it's similar to using sperm donation to become a mother? Fair enough I know this probably isn't what she has set out to do but that's the point. We don't know and I for one don't want to know. She's blessed with four healthy children-lucky lady!

  • Lauren R.

    It is possible to sleep with different people & not get pregnant!!! It's not a side effect, it's a choice if you choose not to use contraception!! It's not giving your kids a good role model - will her kids think it's 'OK' to just go out and get multiple girls pregnant?? Probably, because she's shown them the way...

    • Dani H.

      She works hard and looks after her kids. Yea shes a terrible role model

  • Cheryle C.

    Sexist comment and women backing it up should be ashamed of themselves, you're helping keep the rights and equality of women down by agreeing with these derogatory comments. Women can be their own worst enemy at times. We should be standing together as mothers against these kind of comments for our daughters to be free to do what they like and make empowered decisions about their lives, not thinking we're better than others. Bloody mindless!

  • Laura M.

    I've got 5 kids by 3 men! And what? :joy:

  • Laura M.

    By the way, so it's alright to judge women with kids by different men but what about the men who put it about and have loads of kids by loads of different women???

  • Tracey D.

    wow... how pretentious are some folk!!! she is now a single WORKING mother, so that makes me a 3x3, i also provide for my kids always have, even through the time i was a single parent and could of taken the financial pressure of myself and stayed at home, high five to you Natasha, you doing a grand job, its better than styaing with a bloke cos hes bringing the money in even though he maybe playing the field too!!!!

  • Heather B.

    How many of us on here can honestly say their life has turned out how we planned it from the princess wedding dress to the Mr Darcey u were going to marry & lovely kids & big house u were gonna live happly ever after... It's fairytale!! How many of us are traumatised because we didnt get it?! We're just happy to be blessed with what we have!!....Every child is a blessing & should treated as such. I bet my life those kids dont have a problem with their DNA!!

  • Shaleina K.

    Oh yeh because I'm sure it was her wish to have 4 different dad's to her kids. Some people aren't so lucky to find there true love straight away. She obviously loves deeply n I'm sure her kids get that love also. I love to see the person who has the perfect life without any mistakes

  • Linda M.

    Who cares has long as the children are happy loved & cared for!! That's all that matters.... ffs ppl need to get a grip & stop judging other people's life's & consontrate on there own life's!!!!!

  • Linda M.

    That makes me a 6x3 my children are happy loved & cared for!!! What's the bloody problem? It's the way life turns out not how I planned it...... but I wouldn't change my kids for the world... so you negative people need to sit back and look at ur own life's,,, :) X

  • Claire D.

    She is able to provide for them herself more than most can and she genuinely seems to be a good, caring so who cares!! Sometimes things just don't work out in relationships, granted that children happened early in some of the relationships but it doesn't make her a bad Mum (possibly bad judge of men though!)

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