So, you have a beautiful baby and it smiles at you with these dimpled cheeks and happy eyes and you think your life is complete. Then the little angel grows up and it starts to have a “mind of its own” and it does things that you really did not expect. Here are ten reasons why parenthood is quite possibly the funniest and most embarrassing job any human being has undertaken.
1. The tantrum
According to Lyclear research (they do lice) 44$ of parents find this one of the most embarrassing things to deal with – your child throwing a monster temper tantrum in public. Aaargh! Visit here for seven tips to help you out.
2. The birds and bees
Your child asking you loudly what “that is and why it is so hairy/long/strange!” This usually takes place in a public toilet and involves you having to face the grinning faces of every other adult in the area when you finally extricate yourself from the cubicle. I recommend taking out a book and staying in there for another ten minutes, just to be safe.
Oh yay, your child has just thrown up over the vicar. Or the teacher. Or the disapproving friend/ relative. It’s like they have a sixth sense, they just know that this person is the worst possible one to vomit on.
This is not the kids getting lice. No, no, no. That is far too normal. Kids get lice, big deal. Just use the right stuff and get rid of them and stay aware. That’s the right strategy. No, the really embarrassing bit here is when you realise that YOU have lice…
5. The bath and the toilet
This has happened to a friend of mine and I have to admit that it made me laugh so hard that I was a bit worried I may need medical help. Her daughter was at a playdate and sleepover and, in the shared bath, went ahead and had a giant number two. Apparently the screams of her bath mate could be heard for miles.
6. The nose
Lovely. You are on Skype with a relative who lives far away and you don’t understand why they are looking at you with such revulsion until you look behind you. There is your offspring with one hand finger up their nose and the other in their mouth. What could possibly make us cringe even more?
7. Forgetting our child
From when they are mere babies in a pram to that time you drove off and left them in the supermarket, many mums have forgotten their kids somewhere. Fortunately every story I’ve been told has had a very happy ending.
8. Bigger pants
No parent would be complete without a child pointing out how fat they are/have become. One mum had her child ask why her bottom hung over the toilet, another was told to please not go on diet because her “fat tummy was so comfortable”. How many of you have been driven to look sadly at pictures of yourself pre-pregnancy?
I find this site utterly hilarious and, of course, they have an entire list of painfully embarrassing parents on Facebook. Some of these gems have to be read to be believed. I must admit that I spent so long laughing at the one with the father looking for grocery supplies that my own child wandered in and asked me if I was alright.
10. They say it like it is
They just do. If you want to know how your casual adult actions or deeds affect your kids, then go no further than this link on Circle of Mums. It is absolutely hilarious. I must warn you, though, do not drink any liquids while reading that or you will spray it all over your keyboard. They are that funny.
Now there you go, a good laugh and a cackle and I bet you feel fab. Nothing like laughter to boost your mood and your health, and the facts support it.