1 comment

• Gunnerstorm

  This isn't shocking, I expected this to be honest. The UK have adults who have very little life skills, have their own mental illnesses, no idea how to plan for a family, no idea how to bring up kids in a calm and caring environment or how to behave around them, no idea how to protect themselves financially in a country that is making it difficult to do so aswell, or financially afford to bring up children in many ways. Therefore some adults are selfish and self-infatuated individuals who tied themselves into a marriage out of desperation to be secure and with the wrong partner who isn't fit or good hearted enough to be a parent. They later go on to divorce and seperate as a result and force children to observe a very destructive marriage. They carry their own opinions on what is best for their child and do not realise it is them who is a problem not their child who has grown up scarred and needing counselling for life. To put it bluntly, parents are to blame because of their grandparents and their great grandparents etc etc. Schools should do alot more to help a family who is causing psychological scarring at home, a child is dependant on schools to help record evidence and reveal to the parents what they are doing wrong before it gets worse. If a teacher can see a particular child doesn't behave or look well that is the 1st indication. If a child from early age is encouraged to talk about their family it will help the family improve and the school will be more personalised. If a child sees verbal or physical abuse the parents need to be held accountable for it whether its on the internet, on TV or in their own house. The school is a 2nd home to a child, they should feel safe enough to reveal all with without fearing their parents. If a child has been subject to threats from their parents then it is a very difficult situation and one which can then be referred to social services and dealt with. As for blaming boys, girls are sexually active earlier in puberty, they are more likely to be promiscuous and lead boys on to things they may have not wanted or the boy (i've experienced this myself and when I've rejected many girls before puberty i've found myself victimised as they lack the ability to accept rejection, engage in bullish tactics by involving friends and gossip). So in truth, it is no wonder boys resort to retaliation. Where do girls learn this from? the mother perhaps? It's infectious don't you think, the passing of behaviours from generations. The reality is that girls and boys both lack relationship skills and their behaviours can offend each other as their minds work differently, they have very little understanding of how to treat each other or act around each other. Boys and girls aren't taught how to control sexual energy and how to respond to it, they are taught simple sex education from a scientific/biological view and not emotional or pyschological. Instead of learning by experience, kids should understand behaviour traits and the way girls and boys have conversations or respond to particular phrases, even facial expressions and flirtatious gestures. They should also be taught to value the person's mind instead of observing just their physical features so they are not drawn to one mostly. Also they should learn to reject behaviours that they picked up from their parents and realise why certain behaviours are wrong. The way to put a stop to the way parents controlling and manipulating their children, if a child continues to show a particular behaviour trait a school should record it and punish the parents by making them attend classes after school. Religion must also be limited as it plays a very negative part in childhood and is actually unneeded. Finally this article is sexist, it blames boys for parental upbringing and does not focus on the parent's inadequacies or the way in which girls make decisions and behave. If 4 out of 10 girls are suffering coercion, it means those 4 have problems aswell. The article has not explained why those 4 were abused by boys, just put simply. This society is such that it blames everyone but themselves, maybe we all should start to blame ourselves and realise we are the problem so that we can learn from them. I am lucky not to be a parent or married but I will look for a partner who I believe can offer the best for my children and also me so that they grow up and carry the same positivity with their future families. I realise this task is difficult as i live in the society my future partner lives and probably has negative behaviours from it. I too may have some negative behaviours or attitudes but atleast I accept I need to work out how to be a good parent instead rushing head first into it. Parenting is about learning what to do for the next 18yrs! not the first 2-3yrs! Also if an adult is immature and not fit to be one, they shouldn't be a parent at all, that itself is a problem within society (not being able to control women who ultimately have the power to concieve even if single - sperm banks)!

  Reply · 2 years ago