What a mish-mash of baby news I have lined up for you today (I use the word 'news' very lightly by the way)!  Alex Reid has been to Parliament and had lunch with two MPs (I kid you not!), Michelle Heaton has had one of the most badly drawn tattoos I've seen in a very long time and Beyonce is hailed as being back in shape, I think she just looks overweight!

Alex Reid

I tell you, it's stranger than fiction - Alex Reid attended Prime Minister's Questions at the House of Commons yesterday, went and had lunch with a couple of MPs and then tweeted, "Fantastic lunch meeting with @sharongodgsonMP @robertawMP let's get this country sorted!"

Are you KIDDING ME?!  I know I've been out of the country for a month but to come back and find Alex Reid mixing with members of parliament, and wanting to change the world is all a bit much!

He attended PMQs and had lunch with MP Sharon Hodgson, Shadow Minister for Children and Families, and MP Roberta Blackman-Woods, Shadow Minister for Planning, because he has decided to go a bit Jamie Oliver on us and wants to improve the state of the nation's school dinners.

Who'd have thought it! It could be one of the biggest personality turnarounds in history - from cage-fighter and ex trollop's husband (I'm talking about Katie Price there, not Chantelle - although maybe in the future that might read 'ex trollops' husband!') to MP and fighter for national causes!

Michelle Heaton

Michelle Heaton had a baby girl back on 12 January and called her Faith - I tell, you that little girly's going to need a ton of the stuff as Katie Price is going to be her god mother!

To mark the momentous occasion she's had a tattoo - the name Faith with three red love hearts underneath - and it looks as though someone did it following a Tattooing for Dummies book, it really is very badly done! What do you think?

Beyonce

Now, Beyonce's always been curvy but to say she's back in shape (at least from the pictures I've seen) is jumping the gun a bit!

I. DON'T. SEE. IT!  She just looks overweight to me.  It's funny, if she was a different celeb' the press would be calling her fat - it seems there's one 'curvy rule' for one and a 'skinny rule' for another.  No wonder so many people just give up and eat chocolate!

And you remember the fake preggy belly rumours from a few months ago?  Well those whispers have started again in light of her 'back in shape' look- the entire celebrity world has gone MAD!

There's nothing fun going on in the world of Celebs and their babies just now - it's all boring, boring, boring!

I'm already bored of Beyonce, Blue and Jay Z - the lastest, just in case you're not bored, is that they (Beyonce and Jay Z) have donated more than $100k to the Lennox Hill hospital where Blue was born.

This was, apparently, given months before she was born and the hospital are denying claims that the rather posh and swanky delivery suite, complete with kitchen and other things bla bla bla, was built especially for them.  According to a spokesperson, "they just happened to be the first to use it." Fancy that!

By all accounts there was a complete lock-down at the hospital when Beyonce et al were there, upsetting many of the other new parents there who felt that their special moment had been ruined as family couldn't get in to visit.

You know, if celebs want complete privacy and for the whole world to be shut out when they have their babies, perhaps they should consider having them at home!

What else has been going on?  Not much!

Victoria and Harper Beckham have 'done lunch' together in London - whoppipe-do! HA! I don't think I've ever said, or written 'whoppie-do' in my LIFE! This is a very strong indication of the mood I'm in today - honestly, do we CARE that the Beckham girls are in London and that Victoria is still carting that poor little girl around like a living accessory?!

Christina Aguilera has been out messing around at a theme park with to celebrate her son's fourth birthday and Orlando and Flynn Bloom (still with the MOST adorable child on the planet (bar my own youngest son, of course - and I'm singling him out as a favourite over the other two either, it's just that 17 and 16-year-old teenagers can't really be described as 'adoreable') have been out hiking, with Miranda and their dog.

See, it's all going on in Celebaby land *yawn*  Maybe something exciting will happen over the weekend for me to tell you about next week - something other than such-and-such-a-pregnant-celeb' has been seen out wearing sky high heels, or so and so went to the park with their child.

WHOOPIE-DO!

Today's Celebaby is a mish-mash of a few bits and pieces featuring, briefly, Beyonce's baby get-away, Billie Piper's baby gender announcement and Ben Foden goes baby shopping.

Beyonce

If you were wondering what the press were going to do with themselves now that Beyonce and Jay Z's baby has arrived, now we know - they're going to be rushing around trying to be the first ones to get a picture of Blue Ivy Carter, that's what they're going to be doing.

They didn't manage to catch her departure from hospital though - their plans were scuppered by a 'secret' dash for it at 1.30am in the morning in a Mercedes van (well, come on, it looks like a van to me!) that Beyonce has had customised to the tune of $1 million.

It's also been reported that the hospital undertook some serious renovations/remodelling at the request, and expense, of both Beyonce and Jay Z - apparently, according to one of those useful sources, eight rooms were knocked through and turned into a suite just for them including a bullet proof door (not too paranoid and over the top then!).

The other bits...

Billie Piper and her husband, Laurence Fox, have announced they're expecting another boy - they already have a three-year-old son (Winston) and are said to be over the moon that there's a little brother for him on the way.

In one of the funniest newspaper reports I've read in a while - when I say funny, I mean funny in an 'oh please' kind of way - Una Healy and Ben Foden were 'spotted' out shopping for baby things, I say 'spotted' because Una had tweeted earlier in the day that that's what they were going to do.

Mamas and Papas was dubbed as the 'celebrity baby shop of choice' and Ben 'gallantly' carried the bags...erm, there were only two and they really didn't look that heavy!  THEN, staff were photographed carrying a cot to Ben's car - the cot looked huge and the car's boot was barely big enough to take those two bags that Ben gallantly carried.

Anyone would think they were the first people to go shopping at M&P where the man carrried the bags.

Blue Ivy Carter

Hurrah - Beyonce has had her baby, this time it's official!

The newest celebrity baby arrived on Saturday evening via scheduled c-section and has been named Blue Ivy Carter - I'm not sure what her surname is, that seems to have been left out of every report I've read so far (I'm getting a bit bored of reading the same thing over and over now, so if you don't mind I'll just carry on.

All the usual celeb' Twitter congrats have been sent; a Twitter parody account appeared online within hours but under the wrong name - Ivy Blue Carter - as her name was originally reported the wrong way round.

Apparently Ivy comes from a bit of a thing about the number four - Beyonce was born on 4 September, Jay Z was born on the 4 December, they were married on 4 April and so it goes on and on - the Ivy bit comes from, so the press are speculating, the Roman numeral for the number four, IV.

I can't say I'm fussed where her name comes from, I'm just glad she's arrived and that we can stop all the 'has she - hasn't she had the baby?' rumours!

Grandad Geldof

Peaches Geldof (22) has revealed that she's expecting her first child with her fiance, Thomas Cohen, and apparently Bob Geldof isn't too happy about his new role as grandad.

Mind you, that's only because he hasn't said anything about it yet; when congratulated by fans recently he said that he didn't want to talk about it, as is his right.

Allegedly, he and Peaches have a bit of a fraught relationship but maybe he just didn't want to discuss his private family life with people he'd never met before and was never going to meet again; would you?

The official word from the Peaches Geldof camp suggests that all is rosy in the family camp...

"Peaches Geldof and her fiance Thomas Cohen are delighted to announce that Peaches is pregnant with their first child.  Peaches is utterly thrilled and they have the full support of both of their families who are equally excited for the baby's arrival."

Fraught relationship or happy families - congrats!

The press and rumour writers have been going crazy since yesterday trying to figure out whether, and be the first to tell that, Beyonce has given birth to her baby daughter.

The rumours have even gone so far as to suggest that the new arrival has been named Tiana May which I think is quite pretty, although having read some internet comments on various sites I seem to be in the minority.

Eagle-eyed journos and 'togs, armed with cameras, noticed that close family members of Beyonce had arrived in New York and that the singer herself hadn't been straying far from the city much.

It's been a strange celeb' pregnancy to follow - first there were years of pregnancy rumours, then the categorical denial from both Beyonce and Jay Z (which was out of character for them both as they hardly ever confirm or deny anything to do with their private lives), followed a month or so later by the announcement at the MTV Music Awards.

Next came the fake preggars belly claims - I rather enjoyed that and has to go down as being my favourite crazy Celebaby story of the year, along with the Justin Bieber paternity claim - and now we have the early birth rumours.

You see, a due date has never actually been mentioned; numbers were crunched, best guestimates were made and February seemed the most likely month for the Beyonce baby arrival.

You can guarantee that an earlier appearance (if that is actually the case) is going to trigger all sorts of outlandish theories: the surrogate went into labour early, the aliens dropping the baby off got their inter-galactic time zones confused and rocked up a few weeks ahead of schedule, that sort of thing.

So whether there is a baby Beyonce on the planet or not, we'll just have to wait and see - as yet, there's been no official news.

I am proud to declare that I have never watched anything on TV that features the Kardashians.  The extent of my knowledge about them is as a direct result of flicking through trash magazines looking for Celebaby news to tell you about.

There have been tons of pregnancy rumours flying around about Kim Kardashian - the one who's marriage increasingly looks to have been one of the biggest publicity stunts EVER - and plenty of denials.

Rumours are also multiplying, faster than the Kardashians, about Beyonce's pregnancy cravings - hot sauce on ice cream anyone?

Kourtney Kardashian

Do all the Kardasian sisters names begin with a K...? If they do, I think that's a bit krass (yes, I know it should be spelt with a C but then it wouldn't fit with my K thing would it!) although not as crass as Daniel Craig thinks the entire family are.

With news that Kourtney Kardashian (no idea what she's famous for, other being a sister who's name begins with K), not Kim, is expecting her second child, the hunky James Bond actor has slammed them all for selling their private lives and subsequently complaining they have no privacy.

He didn't mince his words either, he called them 'naughty F word' idiots!  During an interview with GQ magazine, it went something like this...

Mariah Loves Jenny

Mariah Carey has become the latest post-preggars celebrity to become a Jenny Craig ambassador and credits her whopping 70lbs weight loss to the diet. Mel B also decided the best way to shed her baby weight is the Jenny Craig 'have all your calorie-restricted meals delivered to your door' way - I told you about it, briefly, last month.

Call me an old cynic, if you will, but whatever happened to taking responsibility and good old-fashioned 'sorting it out for yourself'? I tipped the scales at 14ish stone when I was pregnant with my youngest, am now a dress size 6 and not once did a Jenny Craig meal pass my lips.

*Beware, rant coming up!*

There's nothing super exciting going, just a few bits and pieces of news in between the Justin Bieber baby scandal.

Bieber Belieber

Apparently, Mariah Yeater says she has evidence that the baby is Bieber's but it has also come to light that Justin is actually the THIRD boy/man (you can't really call the Bieb' a man can you, well not when you're nearly 40 you can't!) and the Bieber camp have made a statement to say that Justin WILL be providing a DNA sample to prove his lack of paternity.

Beyonce's Baby Girl

Beyonce, as we all know, is pregnant with her first child and if she wanted to keep her baby's gender a secret she might be a bit miffed with singing pal, Kelly Rowlands.  Speaking to reporters at the Cosmopolitan Awards recently, she said, "I have no idea what I'm going to buy Beyonce at the baby shower because Jay is going to buy that little girl every single thing possible. She won't be spoiled but she will be very well looked-after." OOPS!!

Just Call Me Shazza!

Sharon Osbourne is very excited about becoming a grandmother and has said she's going to let her grandchild get away with everything.

"You can spoil, you can indulge, and then say, “Okay, now let your parents be the ones to teach you right from wrong.  I'm not.  What do you want? Have it!”

She's also revealed that she's NOT going to be called nanny, granny or grandma; instead she says Jack's son or daughter can call her either Shazza or Mrs O.  Mrs O - I rather like that!  It suits her I think and there's nothing wrong with abandoning the usual grandmother label either.

My children call my mum 'Yee' (don't ask!) and they love it, it's a bit of a faff for them trying to explain it to their friends who have more 'traditional' nannys and grandmas - but then theirs don't ride motorbikes and play the drums either.

Good on ya Mrs O!

The news/rumours/scandal that Beyonce might be sporting a fake baby bump HAS to be my favourite Celebaby story of the year so far.

Beyonce appeared on an Australian TV show and a few eagle-eyed people (either that or they were drunk!) decided that her bump squashed in such an unatural way, when she sat down, that it must be a fake bump.

So, where do your thought processes go from there? WHY would she wear a fake bump?

Cue the second part to this, quite frankly, hilarous story; wait for it...

Beyonce is wearing a fake baby bump because a surrogate is carrying her baby for her!

Now THIS isn't remotely far-fetched, there have been a few celebs which have gone down the surrogate route - Sarah Jessica Parker being one of them.

BUT to do that, wear a fake baby bump and expect to be able to keep it a secret when there'd be plenty of people happy to sell THAT story to the highest bidder, is utterly bonkers!

Apart from the holiday pictures of her, blossoming in a bikini, in early September on a beach in Croatia, she seems like a down-to-earth sort of person and NOT the type to 'employ' a surrogate to carry her child, so she doesn't 'ruin' her body, and THEN embark on an elaborate cover-up plot.

I know they say that truth is often stranger than fiction but this, I think, is pushing the realms of reality just a little bit far.

I hope Beyonce and hubby, Jay-Z, are laughing about, what has to be, the most crazy baby story of the year as much as the rest of us sane human beings are.

Beyonce Baby Bump

Beyonce's latest video clearly reveals that her baby bump is coming along rather nicely.

After what felt like years of pregnancy rumours, which were always fiercly denied, Beyonce and her husband Jay-Z recently announced they were expecting a baby.

In her latest video, Beyonce turns to the side and cradles her stomach along to the lyrics, "I'm trying to make us three from that two."

When any A-list celebrity baby is on the way the media rumour mill loses all control of itself and this time is no exception.  Rumour has it that this Beyonce baby, due in the Spring, is a girl but there's no real information as to what sparked off that little whisper.

Well, there's a 50/50 chance it'll be right!

Una Healy's Hardly There Baby Bump

I'll forgive you for not knowing who Una Healy is - I only know of her because she's the other half of Ben Foden who's an England and Northampton Saints rugby player - she's one of the band member of The Saturdays.

Still none the wiser? Just switch on Radio One, you'll hear one of their songs before too long.

With Ben down in New Zealand for the Rugby World Cup, it was left to Una to recently announce that they are expecting their first baby.

It's been rather amusing reading the press comments, subsequent to her announcement, on her various premier/public appearance outfits, "No maternity dresses for Una," is the general theme.

Well DUH, media people, she's no more than about 16 weeks gone so what do you expect to see?  A six-month preggars belly appearing overnight?!  Please.

So far it's all going well and she's having an easy time of it; speaking to More! magazine recently, she said, "So far my pregnancy has been easy. I've not been sick, I've just got an amazingly sensitive sense of smell. I can't bear strong cheeses."

She's also tweeted about early pregnancy tiredness, "I have fallen asleep in between every interview today! Literally! Really getting the hang of this "sleeping on the road" malarchy!"

Can we tell her that you don't spell 'malarkey' the way she did...?  Or am I just being picky now?

So, on the 18 August - a mere two weeks ago - I wrote about the latest 'is Beyonce pregnant?' rumour...

She’s recently been reported as saying she’s ready to settle down and focus on her marriage and starting a family with hubby, Jay- Z.  Here’s what she said during an interview, with US Style,  to promote her new fashion range:

“When you’re young -18 or 19 – you have the energy and drive. That’s the time to work as hard as you can.

Now I’m a woman, and because I gave it my all, I can focus on my marriage. I can decide I want to have kids. I can be the mother I want to be and dedicate myself to my children.”

What do you think?

I don’t think it’s a sign that she’s going to be making any baby announcements anytime soon; it just sounds like someone who’s got their head screwed on, despite living in a screwed up industry, and isn’t in any rush to go forth and multiply!

Well did I get THAT wrong!

Performing at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday she announced her pregnancy news by unzipping her jacket, cradling her stomach and saying, to the audience, "Tonight, I want you to stand up on your feet - I want you all to feel the love growing inside me!"

The crowd went crazy and Twitter went NUTS!

Seconds after Beyonce made her announcement, Twitter registered a staggering 8,868 tweets per SECOND.

An insider has revealed, "Jay is ecstatic and over the moon. He really wanted this so badly. They barely told anyone...They kept it really secret until they were sure and now she simply couldn't wait to tell the world."

Well, that's one less rumour for us to worry about; next up: is Beyonce expecting a boy or a girl, maybe twins! And will he, she or they be called this, that or the other!?

S t i l l waiting for the arrival of Mel B's little Spice bundle - I wonder if we've got another Pink scenario on our hands where reports of 'any day now' actually turned out to be at least another month!

So, again, in the meantime...

Beyonce

There have probably been more 'Beyonce's pregnant!' rumours and false reports than the hot dinners that you, and me, have eaten combined.

So whether or not this turns out to be another one is anyone's guess.

She's recently been reported as saying she's ready to settle down and focus on her marriage and starting a family with hubby, Jay- Z.  Here's what she said during an interview, with US Style,  to promote her new fashion range:

"When you're young -18 or 19 - you have the energy and drive. That's the time to work as hard as you can.

Now I'm a woman, and because I gave it my all, I can focus on my marriage. I can decide I want to have kids. I can be the mother I want to be and dedicate myself to my children."

What do you think?

I don't think it's a sign that she's going to be making any baby announcements anytime soon; it just sounds like someone who's got their head screwed on, despite living in a screwed up industry, and isn't in any rush to go forth and multiply!

Whilst it seems that Beyonce has her head screwed on when it comes to her career, family and business, I really don't think the same can be said for her fashion line - I've seen some of it and all I can say is, "Really?  Are you kidding...?"

I'm no fan of celebrity clothing ranges but at least most of them, including Victoria Beckham's, could be worn in public without running the risk of someone asking whether you got dressed in the dark!

Those very useful sources are denying all the rumours flying around that Beyonce (yes, still) and Christina Aguilera are preggars. In fact, Beyonce was her own useful source.

I wonder how it feels to be the subject of such speculation which will only come from you looking a little 'rounder' than usual..?

I know how it feels to be on the other side - I was at a party once when I made THAT fatal error and asked the Lady Mayoress' sister when her baby was due.

The look on her face as the words continued to fall out of my mouth were enough, I didn't need to hear her say, "It's not. I always look like this..." *cringe*

Beyonce

Tight-lipped super-private Beyonce and Jay Z have both spoken out now about the endless pregnancy rumours - isn't that interesting, coming from the couple who hardly EVER comment on their private lives!

In a recent interview she said that she's not bothered by the constant rumours about her maternal status, saying, "At this point, they say that I've been pregnant like eight times, so I am kind of used to it."

"I just hope that one day when I decide to be pregnant that people are happy for me... One day hopefully I will be. It's part of being a celebrity, I guess."

I'll be happy for her when pregnancy rumour 152 turns out to be true.

Christina

Christina Aguilera recently performed at the American Music Awards wearing a tight body suit which sparked the question 'has she just piled on the pounds or is her son, Max, going to have a baby brother or sister to play with soon!?'

A close source, however, has spoken out and said that she's not expecitng...

"She is going through a hard time, getting divorced, opening a film (Burlesque) and caring for her son and hasn't had time to work out."

I don't think I'd wear a skin-tight bodysuit if I hadn't had time to work out.  Actually, I would NEVER wear a skin-tight bodysuit!

The rumour mill is still in over drive about Beyoncé's supposedly being preggars. So much so that, the normally tight-lipped Mr Beyonce - JayZ, has spoken out.

He didn't say much, but what he did say made me chuckle; you can just feel the 'it's all so very tedious' tone to his voice.

Here's what he had to say, on the Howard Stern show, about the fact that his wife is most definitely NOT up the duff.

"I really sit back and wonder when people are going to stop. The day that Beyoncé is pregnant, I don't think Newsday is going to know before my grandmother."

Can you imagine it...

"Darling, do you think we should visit your grandmother and tell her?"

"Nah, it's ok, she'll find out through Newsday."

He also went on to say, "Everyone knows I'm married, I just don't discuss it because it's a part of my life that I'd rather keep private."

Both he and Beyoncé have always had a policy of not discussing their relationship or private lives...apart from with his grandmother of course!

Well not yet at least!

The rumour mill has been getting itself all hot and bothered lately, with reports that Beyonce's world tour was being put on hold because she was preggars.

'Bouncy', as some call her, is married to Jay Z and when it comes to protecting the details of their relationship they can be pretty tight-lipped - both of them refuse to discuss each other in interviews.

Reports are everywhere that the couple are expecting their first child, that Beyonce is at least 14 weeks gone and my favourite quote has to be this one...

"29-year-old Beyonce was surprised to learn she is in her first trimester of the pregnancy."

I bet she was shocked too because she's not! Her mother made an appearance on the Ellen deGeneres Show to quash this latest round of pregnancy whisperings.

Tina Knowles made it very clear that Beyonce is not pregnant, not yet and went on to say, "I'm looking forward to it. [But] With all the rumours, by now I should have about five or six grandchildren! 'I'm here to clear the rumours up. The truth is that it's me, not Beyonce, that's pregnant. It's me."

And before any more rumours start...she was kidding!