Which Kind Of Facebook Parent Are You?

10 July 2015

Facebook parents

We all do it. Mentally categorise our Facebook friends into 'types'. Don't pretend you don't. (Please don't - you'll make me look bad for starters.)

Ahem, anyway. I laughed out loud at this piece about the rise of humble-bragging and it made me realise that I am *that* type of parent. You know the kind. Here's the definition of what we do:

...'An ostensibly modest or self-deprecating statement whose actual purpose is to draw attention to something of which one is proud.' according to the Oxford English Dictionary...

Yup, totally guilty. I'm also a bit of an over-sharer as defined in a recent  Metro article. They describe our type thusly:

When the over-sharer isn’t posting pictures of their child’s latest rash or a weird scab, they are giving graphic descriptions of their child’s latest explosive nappies. They have put you off your lunch on more than one occasion. Also likes to share 10,457 pictures a day usually of their child doing the same thing – but you have to admit those pictures are super cute. Most likely to post: Help! What do you think this is in my son’s poo? (picture of contents of nappy.) Least likely to post: Nothing. Everyone needs to read this stuff right?!

Here are three of my own to add to the list...

1.  The vaguebooker
Never let it be said that the Vaguebooker doesn't let you know what's on her mind. Well actually, scratch that. She never does, because she's too busy vaguely alluding to it without actually telling you anything at all, inevitably eliciting a rush of 'What's up, love?' replies and feverish likes, quickly qualified with 'I don't like this, obvs, hon!'. She doesn't MEAN to be annoying - she probably has some complicated dynamics going on which means she can't just come out with it, so making the vaguest of suggestions (driving your imagination into overdrive in the process) is about the closest she can get to getting things off her chest. Everybody needs their place for that.

2. The selfie queen
She posts almost daily snaps of whatever part of her (admittedly enviable) body is most capturing her attention on any given day. While you're suitably impressed and genuinely in awe of her washboard stomach / flawless skin / Kardashian-worthy pout, you can't help but feel a bit inadequate in the face of all those perfectly-curated selfies. So it's a good job she's as lovely on the inside as she is on the outside, otherwise you'd have no choice but to hate her. Fans of the Brelfie fit this category, too.

3. The shameless boaster
There's competitive parenting - you know, where you pretend not to be boasting about your kid's sporting prowess / educational achievements / all-round brilliance but secretly are, narrowly disguising it as good, old-fashioned humble pride - and then there's shameless boasting. We've all done this one so I'm in no position to comment on its shortcomings nor on how annoying it is for other parents to witness. Suffice it to say that the point of being parents is surely so that we have something more interesting to boast about than our own lame achievements, no?

So come on, tell us: which one are you, and which 'types' would you add to the list?

TOPICS:   Parents

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